Strengthen your family relationships with counselling
Family and relationship counselling is a support for families that going through changes, transitions, sibling rivalries or difficulties in parental relationships. Its a process through which a platform is provided for every person in the family to feel safe and to speak openly.
This helps the family to communicate in a healthy way and resolve their conflicts. This facilitates stronger relationships and feeling of living through life experiences as a team. The counsellor would be non judgmental and would keep all information shared confidential.
Families are the biggest source of love and a sense of belongingness. Sometimes through rough phases or bitter experiences or natural growing up phases, members within a family start feeling conflicted and isolated. Hence counselling becomes necessary to bring about the required change.
>> One family counselling question to our psychologist: If a wife does not want to live with her in-laws because she works full-time and cannot adjust with in-laws, should she be blamed for it?
Our Relationship Counsellor Richa Khetawat answers you:
In India we are all proud of the joint family system but at the same time it works for some and does not for others. This worked more smoothly when women were married very young before they reach their maturity. Then they could mold to the new family with more flexibility and also due to lack of choice and awareness.
Now typically by the time women get married, they are educated, traveled, are aware and financially independent. They need their space. It can be very hard on them to be expected to live with the whole family and adjust with different perspectives.
In case a woman feels she cannot really adjust with the extended family, the clarity should help her convey the same to her would-be husband before marriage. If she is not convinced now, then later on, there could be severe marital strain and this could also lead into a divorce. In such situations after marriage, typically a husband might feel torn apart between his spouses’ and parents’ respective perspectives. He might even feel that she might be a selfish woman not ready to adjust with his family. Relationship between the parents in-law and daughter in-law might get spoilt to an extent that even after staying apart physically, they are not able to regard and love each other.
In some family situations where in-laws are unwell and not capable of living independently, the moral aspects should definitely be considered. Further if they are not financially independent, their needs should also be respected. These two points can be sensitive ones while taking a decision but otherwise it is only human to want freedom and independence whiling desiring to share your house and life with your husband and future children. Do not let guilt consume you now, while you have a choice exercise it, else once you decide to live with them moving away come with further emotional complications than being clear from the beginning.
While staying away, you can choose to take up the responsibility of visiting and being in touch with both sets of parents. They can also visit you and spend time with the two of you and children if any. There is always a way to work things out when you have clarity and the ability to express yourself in the right manner.
Online Counsellor Richa Khetawat has 10 years experience in helping families from Delhi, Gurgaon, Noida and other north Indian cities . She holds Masters in Clinical Psychology from Delhi University and a Certificate in Clinical Psychology from the University of Edinburgh, UK. She received Women’s Awards for Dynamism and Innovation from Devi in 2016.